Ty Johnston, PharmD Candidate
“Seek first to understand, then be understood”
-Stephen Covey
The Story:
Working as a healthcare professional challenges me personally and professionally on a daily basis. Although it can be stressful, I’ve learned some of my most valuable life lessons through working with patients.
Stephen Covey once said that you should “Diagnose before you prescribe.” But what does this mean? I developed an understanding in the following experience that I’d like to share.
A few weeks ago, I was privileged with an opportunity to learn from a patient interaction. The patient, that I will refer to under the alias, Dory, was struggling to take her medications. Even though I had numerous encounters with Dory, I was never able to connect with her and establish a professional relationship – until one Saturday afternoon, when she came in and opened up to me. She explained that she was having difficulty with her prescriptions and feeling helpless. She admitted she’d missed several doses of her stroke medication, which concerned me. In the hopes of making it easier for her to take her medication, I suggested that we change her from a twice daily to a once-daily medication – and Dory agreed to give the plan a try.
A week later, Dory returned explaining that she was overwhelmed by the change to her longstanding routine and was now even more unmotivated to take her medications. When I asked her why she was struggling with the change and how I could help, she seemed to hold back from giving me a genuine response. I could sense that there was a disconnect between Dory and I due to the loss of trust. It seemed as though she stopped believing that I would openly accept and appreciate her concerns.
Although I was thankful that Dory opened up to me initially, my own concerns about her missed doses took over, making me jump to conclusions. I failed to express a skill that should be possessed by every health care professional: I didn’t take the time to truly understand what had been on her mind.
The next time she came into the pharmacy, I tried a different approach. I told Dory that I didn’t fully understand her problem and that I’d love to hear more about it. A smile swept over her face. By genuinely reaching out, it opened a deeper conversation. I took the time to thoroughly and honestly understand her perspective on why she was struggling. Once Dory felt acknowledged and welcomed to speak up, it opened up an opportunity for me to talk about her disease and why it’s important for her to take her medication. After this interaction, she seemed to have gained a much better understanding and a renewed belief that her medication was most suitable for her. Not only did our conversation build a great deal of trust between Dory and I, but also a meaningful relationship.
It was clear that my first response was unsuccessful because I didn’t fully listen to the concern she was trying to express. Based on my own beliefs, I made an assumption that her problem was taking her medication too often, but the real problem was that she didn’t believe that the medication would help. As a result of prescribing before diagnosing, I lost Dory’s trust and my ability to connect with her.
The Lesson:
The lesson I learned from this experience was that in order for people to listen to you, you first need to invest in listening to them. Imagine visiting a healthcare professional with a medical concern, and all they did was hand you a drug, no questions asked, and sent you out the door. If this ever happened to me, I’d feel glossed over and that my problem wasn’t heard. If they didn’t understand me, how could they even help me? Giving medication or providing advice before knowing the full picture doesn’t work. The same can be applied when communicating and forming relationships with patients, friends, family members, or any person that crosses your path. You first need to sincerely appreciate the other person’s point of view and their unique experiences, values, and beliefs.
If you want to become influential and provide people with advice that they can apply in their life, then you need to build trust. You take away trust by making assumptions based solely on what you think. You build trust when you show someone you have a desire and ability to understand what they’re trying to express.
The Bottom Line:
Every time Dory visits the pharmacy, she now asks for me specifically. She happily tells me all of her concerns with the confidence that I’m there to listen and really hear what she has to say. Whether you’re talking with someone in your personal, or professional life, you can apply this principle. I guarantee that if you take the time to genuinely listen to someone, they will repay you with trust. And this trust will be the key to developing a meaningful relationship of mutual respect and understanding.
